Thursday, October 27, 2005
 This is not the week to spit rhymes; your ass might get shot at or thrown in jail -- or sued by your white-trash cousins -- read on.
Rapper DMX is going to do 60 days in prison after pleading guilty to violating the conditions of his release following a car crash -- anybody know if DMX was in DC this past weekend near the Cam'ron shooting? Note to self: when I make the kind of money a rapper is paid I'm going to hire a damn driver (and make sure he's packing heat).
Poor DMX, whose real name is Earl Simmons, pleaded guilty last December to reckless endangerment and acknowledged he was taking Valium when he smashed his sport utility vehicle into a gate at Kennedy Airport in June 2004, after telling a parking lot attendant he was a federal agent. Was it a Pink SUV DMX was driving?
I heard something about a pink SUV in the Cam'ron shooting. Hold on a second, what straight man rides in a pink SUV? "Yo bee, get me my glock. I got some business to handle right quick. Get me my purse." Pink must be the new black this season.
IT'S EAST COAST VS. WEST COST: Over on the west coast ccommunity leaders are upset over 50 Cent's upcoming movie 'Get Rich Or Die Tryin' which has a gun theme in the ads .
I'm going to put on my political hat here for a second. "Guns don't kill, people kill." The gun problem is not a film, which depicts realistic situations, it's "gun lobbyist" who make sure guns are available. Question: why there are so many guns out there? -- and you'll find your answer.
Over in 50's redneck corner (in business at least), a judge has threw out most of a lawsuit filed by two relatives of Eminem who claim the rapper is evicting them from the home he had built for them. I hear those new trailer parks can fit a whole family, perfect fit for pain in the ass relatives.
Hit that drum machine: To the beat ya'll, yes, yes. Going to jail, doing my time, dodging those bullets. Got get me a driver!
Damn, it looks so easy on TV.
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