'Getting old sucks, more so if you're Mel Gibson where your dirty laundry has being left out there in steaming pile, leaving so many wanting to spank his dirty tush-y. No, this isn't going to be a love letter to 'ol Mel. Even if I weren't a Latino, or in Mel's eyes just another “wetback" he'd still be a really hard one to defend.

The words to that "When I'm 64" Beatles song makes some sense here

'goes something like: "When I get older losing my hair..." -- or in Mel's case when he hits the wall so hard, losing his looks. Wow, what to do then?

'Thinking about that Chris Rock rant on O.J. Simpson: "I'm not saying he should have killed her... but I understand." -- and while I don't think Mel Gibson has killed anyone just yet, there is the part of Mel's meltdown that I do understand: It's how he simplified his sex life.

Stay with me here, I might be doing a little walking on the edge here...

There's a line in that Cyndi Lauper song 'Money Changes Everything' that goes: 'there was one thing we weren't really thinking of and that's money.'

yeah, you sang it right Cyndi --

'ain't it always about the almighty dollar?

That came to mind while I'm flipping through all the daily papers. Got me thinking well, if they just stick a Vampire in this problem, well -- it just might change everything...maybe even for the better.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm looking forward to HBO's True Blood (which for my money got it just right: Vampires and sex = hit).

I'll also be one of the first twihards in line for the next fix of that dumb low-rent -- c'mon sparkly vampires? really? -- Twilight saga -- (just call me a big sucker for a sexless romance) -- I'll be wearing my pink Go team Edward t-shirt.

I offer up the Writer-director Michael Patrick King here as the weakest link. Or, if you're a fan of the original HBO show looking for a perfect example of someone getting in the way of the story -- look no further.

As one reviewer put it: 'What is it about movie versions of hit TV series that the producers seem unable to recapture the magic that once had us glued to our TV screens?'

Well, if I remember correctly --

the best laugh-out-loud episodes of the show were not written by the show's creator --

don't believe me, go back and check the credits.

They had a powerhouse writing staff. Is it curious then why all the reviewers have said pretty much the same thing that the movie version was missing that

'same loony spritz' --

because instead of a powerhouse writing staff, they relied on the not so-funny King to write and direct and be funny. Knowing a few things about films, mostly from watching really bad ones --

I'm going to say a few checks and balances

some script notes saying "funny"

or not so funny --

'someone to bounce off a few ideas are sorely needed. So we can filter out the bad ones and keep the cream of the crop.

If you're the director (and writer and creator of the show and not so funny), well who do you bounce your ideas off?

'That Adaptation: From Page to Screen panel that I sat for wasn't a complete waste of time -- let's just say nobody was doing a happy dance afterwords unless they were leaving to a better place.

Here's how it went. Two of the biggest pretentious Dick-ish writers (both French) going on-and-on like they invented water -- talking in french no less...so we all waited for a translator to birth those pearls of wisdom, which sounded like just like chalk scratching on a blackboard, or worse.

It's 2010 and French people that don't speak the Kings English by now should stay their smelly asses in France, just saying.

Love the sound of your voice much?

'Talking movies, I got some 'Splaining to do here. This years best movie by far is Kick-Ass. Allow me to leave that thought hanging out there in the wind for a few seconds.

I've recently seen my fair share of movies. Even done my reading about the state of Indie Films going leaner -- all for a bite of some eyeballs.

If you're anything like me you also hate watching movies that follow that tried-true but ooooh

so-tired-obvious-blue print.