Monday, September 08, 2008 Two things happy people do POST A COMMENT In this article from Oprah Magazine - 'Five things happy people do,' they spoke with experts to find common traits in happy people...I picked two of the five listed (and added my own take on it). (1) Happy People -- avoid "if only" fantasies. If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking...'instead, keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa).' To me, this has much to do with the added stress caused by trying to keep-up-with-the-Jones, or worrying about what other people have. Envy can be a real bummer. I also agree that keeping yourself busy with variations on regular everyday things keeps the brain from getting too much comfort. (2) Happy People 'put best friends first. It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts...One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship is simple companionship, "just hanging out..." -- going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.' I get this: simple companionship with people I like goes a long way. I know a cut-throat dude that is so driven by making money, that he chooses his friends only by how they can forward his career (The no-losers allowed club). While I'm lucky enough to fit into that club, I ended up distancing myself from him because I don't subscribe to that theory that you discard friends as you move up the social ladder. Having more money doesn't make you a better friend. Overall, I happen to one of those that believe happiness is over-rated. I embrace my sadness and sorrow as part of life's lessons. If we sat around ignoring the the bad things that surround us don't we then lose that hunger to work towards change? Source: Oprah Magazine Labels: Oprah, The Happiness Project posted by Henry Cruz at 11:57 AM Wednesday, July 30, 2008 Digging for Happiness POST A COMMENT I've been trying to keep up with reading one book a week - although, it usually turns into two books a month. This week it's about the trappings of fame, from Playwright Theresa Rebeck -(known for her black comedy)... In her first novel: Three Girls and Their Brother — 'which has been described as "a fizzy satire of celeb-obsessed NYC about flame-haired teenage sisters who get photographed for The New Yorker and soon become megastars...." The book has annoying-first-person points of view from four-of-the-most-annoying self-absorbed teenagers imaginable -- think Paris Hilton but void of any humanity; or a really bad episode of that aw full CW show "Gossip Girl." The story starts off with a picture of three sisters and an article in the New Yorker declaring them the “It Girls of the Twentieth Century” - It has very little description and almost all dialogue...so, it moves very very fast if you can get past the annoying characters that is. The only thing that saves this book is the writer's bits of humor...I mean these Three girls pretty much live in this empty-bubble of blah and then get seduced by "fame"...and still remain dead inside. It's one thing to look at tabloid pictures of Paris Hilton being famous for no reason at....'but can you imagine living in her head for more than a minute? But, like the rest of us slobs these characters keep-on digging for happiness...albeit, in a shallow, brainless kinda way. ** Speaking of digging for happiness: Here are a few happiness tips - (from Hesketh Pearson’s The Smith of Smiths): ** In a letter dated 1820, Smith wrote to an unhappy friend...and offers tips for cheering up 1st. Live as well as you dare. 2nd. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75 or 80 degrees. 3rd. Amusing books. 4th. Short views of human life—not further than dinner or tea. 5th. Be as busy as you can. 6th. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you. 7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you. 8th. Make no secret of low spirits to you friends, but talk of them freely—they are always worse for dignified concealment. 9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you. 10th. Compare your lot with that of other people. I like think we can find happiness -- outside of fame -- and keeping busy, comparing your lot with that of others seem like good tips for a muggy summer day. Source: The Happiness Project Labels: The Happiness Project, Trends, what I'm reading posted by Henry Cruz at 3:01 PM Wednesday, June 11, 2008 Bring on the Happiness! POST A COMMENT When did it become a duty to be happy? -- 'remember a time when showing up -- and praying everything didn't fall apart -- was enough. Today everybody drowns themselves in floods-of-endless-distractions -- (setting high expectations) -- to achieve an endless non-stop-parade of happiness...'guess, since I grew up in poverty, we made-do with left-overs and searched into ourselves for the basics: family, friends, music. Today, I'm okay with small pockets of 'happy-endings' -- more along the lines of distractions from the everyday grind, and I'm good-to-go: reading, traveling, movies, writing, hanging out with friends, and taking walks are enough for me...'a nice dinner and I'm maxed-out-on happy pills. If you gotta-go-there and drown yourself in an endless-happy-hour --(to fit in with the Jones), here are eight tips -- (thanks to The Happiness Project) -- for making yourself a lot happier in the next hour: 1. Boost your energy: stand up and pace while you talk on the phone or, even better, take a brisk ten-minute walk outside. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up, and the activity and sunlight are good for your focus, your mood, and the retention of information. Plus, because of “emotional contagion,” if you act energetic, you’ll help the people around you feel energetic, too. 2. Reach out to friends: make a lunch date or send an email to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Having warm, close bonds with other people is one of the keys to happiness, so take the time to stay in touch. Somewhat surprisingly, it turns out that socializing boosts the moods not only of extroverts, but also of introverts. 3. Rid yourself of a nagging task: answer a difficult email, purchase something you need, or call to make that dentist’s appointment. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a big rush of energy and cheer, and you’ll be surprised that you procrastinated for so long. 4. Create a calmer environment: clear some physical and mental space around your desk by sorting papers, pitching junk, stowing supplies, sending out quick responses, filing, or even just making your piles neater. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizeable dent. Try to get in the habit of using the “one minute rule”—i.e., never postpone any task that can be completed in less than one minute. An uncluttered environment will contribute to a more serene mood. 5. Lay the groundwork for some future fun: order a book you’ve been wanting to read (important: not something you think you should read, but something you want to read) or plan a weekend excursion to a museum, hiking trail, sporting event, gardening store, movie theater—whatever sounds like fun. Studies show that having fun on a regular basis is a pillar of happiness, and anticipation is an important part of that pleasure. Try to involve friends or family, as well; people enjoy almost all activities more when they’re with other people than when they’re alone. 6. Do a good deed: make an email introduction of two people who could help each other, or set up a blind date, or shoot someone a piece of useful information or gratifying praise. Do good, feel good—this really works. Also, although we often believe that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. When you act in a friendly way, you’ll strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people. 7. Act happy: put a smile on your face right now, and keep smiling. Research shows that even an artificially induced smile has a positive influence on your emotions—turns out that just going through the motion of happiness brightens your mood. And if you’re smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable. 8. Listen to your favorite music. Studies show that listening to music is one of the most effective ways to boost your energy and mood (second only to exercise). In fact, in one study, 92% of people felt happier when they listened to music they liked. For an added boost, dance around the room, too. This Gnarls Barkley music video makes me happy: Source: The Happiness Project Labels: Books, Duma Key, stephen king, The Happiness Project posted by Henry Cruz at 7:28 PM     ARCHIVES October 2005 . November 2005 . December 2005 . August 2007 . September 2007 . October 2007 . November 2007 . December 2007 . March 2008 . April 2008 . May 2008 . June 2008 . July 2008 . August 2008 . September 2008 .